My short-sleeved cardi is finished now and is in need of fastenings, so my first stop was, as always, my Button Tin. I passed a pleasant half-hour or so sorting through the delights within, but this time I couldn't find exactly what I was looking for. The lid went back on, and it got me thinking about buttons and fastenings in general. After much deliberation and thought I am pleased to offer my definitive guide to the perils of finding that elusive Perfect Button.
1. The Button Tin promises so much, but delivers so little. However much I enjoy having a casual browse through the many hundreds of buttons, press-studs, old currency and curtain rings contained within, when push comes to shove and I need a button for an actual project I rarely find anything suitable.
2. Sorry Madam, I only have five of that style. I've lost count of the number of times I've tipped out the entire contents of The Tin, spread them all over the table, sorted through them and put the rejects back in The Tin, then found out there's only five of The Perfect Button. And I need six.
3. The Button Tin has a secret portal into another dimension. I know there were more of those little green oval buttons. There were at least seven - I remember counting them and thinking they'd be perfect for a cardi. So why can I only find four? Doe the Button Tin secretly transport them to another planet for research purposes?
4. Never mind the style, look at the quantity. The Button Tin has many, many complete sets of buttons. Some styles come in sets of twelve or more! Unfortunately they are guaranteed to not be the ones you want for your project, or are ever likely to want for any project ever.
5. Shirt Buttons are our Speciality. Sometimes a shirt is so worn that it's not even good enough to send to the charity shop, so it's ultimate fate is to be dismembered and used for cleaning the car. Often these shirts are relieved of their buttons which inevitably find their way to The Button Tin. They will never, ever be attached to a garment again because every shirt has a spare button sewn inside which matches the others perfectly. If you melted down all the recycled shirt buttons in the world there would be enough plastic to make one huge button the size of the Pacific Ocean. Probably.
6. The History Channel. It's easy to become sidetracked when you go rummaging through The Button Tin. Ooh look, here's a button from that dress you made when you were 17. Ah yes, remember that coat? Don't be embarrased, everyone had one so you didn't look any sillier than anyone else. These historical buttons will never, ever leave the safety of The Button Tin but will provide nostalgia and embarrasment in equal measure every time you take off the lid.
7. Know Your Limits. Sometimes you just have to face facts. The Button Tin can't deliver every time. On these occasions you just have to take your completed garment and hotfoot it to your local yarn shop, haberdashery or department store and buy some buttons. And while you're there, don't forget to buy an extra one to put in The Button Tin, just in case. Which leads us nicely onto......
8. Just In Case. Every time I buy buttons I get an extra one, 'just in case'. So my Button Tin has lots of odd unused buttons. Maybe I should be proud that my button sewing skills are such that I never need the spare, but I still buy one. Well, you never know.
9. Oooh, Shiny! It's incredibly easy to be sidetracked when button buying. In my Button Tin I have several buckles, a very elaborate iridescent clasp, a selection of odd beads and some metal cowboy collar-tips. These will probably still be in The Tin when I'm beyond caring, but I still bought them. Why? WHY?
Anyway, I still haven't got any buttons for my short-sleeved cardi. I shall have to forsake The Button Tin on this occasion and go to The Shops instead. Reader, I shall let you know how I get on.